Archive for March 1999

On Crispy M&M’s

5 March 1999
Categories: Rants

Have you seen the ads for the new, Crispy M&M’s? Diedrich Bader (Oswald on The Drew Carey Show), or Patrick Warburton (Puddy on Seinfeld), talking to an animated, anthropomorphic Crispy M&M that’s trying to talk them out of eating Crispy M&M’s.

I remember a cartoon ad, years ago, depicting the M&M’s factory as a big playground or summer camp, with M&M’s diving into the chocolate pool and marching happily through the showers that sprayed their candy coloured shells on, before jumping cheerfully into a bag, ready for eating. Cultish though it may have been, the ad accurately captured the essence of life as an M&M: happy acceptance of a destiny that entails nothing more than being eaten in order to provide pleasure to millions of Americans – nay, to all humanity.

Crispy M&M’s have a bad attitude. Don’t eat them.

By the way, whatever happened to Tan? I think Blue has some explaining to do.