(continued from Part 2)
Which brings me to my next point about driving. It’s what I consider to be the Number One Asshole Move. I see it on the streets of Chicago every day, and it probably happens on every highway in the U.S.
The upshot is this, breaking a rule we all learned in kindergarten: Don’t Cut In Line.
You’re on a typical Chicago street, Division for example, where there’s one lane for traffic each way and parking on both sides. You pull up to a red light, and before it turns green somebody pulls alongside you, on the right, into a space that usually only exists because it’s a bus stop. When the light turns green, they step on it and cut you off before the lane they’re in turns back into parked cars.
Of course, this act has its basis in a legit manoeuvre. If you were turning left at that light, then it’s quite convenient for other drivers to cut around you and continue on. But what I want to know is, if I’ve been sitting in a long line of cars, all waiting for the light to change so we can continue our lemming parade, who do these jerks think they are to cut around all of us as we politely wait our turns in line?
The answer is, they think they’re the most important people on earth. Of course, they’re wrong.
Likewise, on highways you often will lose a lane for any number of reasons. The Skyway, as it enters onto the Dan Ryan, goes from two lanes to one as you come over that hill, and especially on Sunday nights it gets pretty backed up. We’ve all seen it: everybody gets over and waits in line, and some asshole zips by in the vanishing lane and cuts in at the last second.
Now, when both lanes are backed up and you know you have to get down to one lane, the rule of thumb is: Zipper. It’s so simple: one car from the left, one from the right, repeat ad infinitum.
I admonish everyone to take their chances with the road ragers of the world and stand your ground. When zippering, declare your space in line but keep over in that vanishing lane as long as possible. Block those assholes from cutting around you and everyone else and make them wait with the rest of humanity. I’ve done this several times and have made a few enemies, but likely more than a few friends. Sometimes a semi driver behind me will take my example and do the same, which gives a pleasant buffer. Who’s gonna mess with a semi?